One of the first times Foltz took the initiative and asked a guy out, it went really well. “It ended up being one of the most romantic experiences of my life.” She believes making the first move gave the man a helpful confidence boost.“Sometimes guys are afraid, too.” And with the advent of dating apps such as Bumble, which require women to make the first move to avoid online harassment, it’s not only common for women to initiate a date, it’s increasingly expected.
With Facebook, Twitter and some minor sleuthing, anyone can be tracked down.
“If you sleep with someone, there’s a good chance you’ll be able to contact them again [or vice versa],” says Manley.
“[But] they’re not a great way to go deep or get to know the person’s personality.” Chris Donahue, a 28-year-old writer from Brooklyn, believes men should still foot the bill, at least on the first date.
“It opens up a kind of flirty dialogue of like, ‘You can pay for the next date,’ ” he says.
“If there’s not an immediate spark, you’re wasting both of your time,” says Manley.